Peace in the Midst of the Busy Busy

There is so much to do these days it’s somewhat frightening. We’re implementing two new big initiatives at work, and while it’s exciting, it is a LOT of work. Plus I’ve been out a lot (4.5 days already… and it’s only the 22nd day of school counting tomorrow- I’m sure the parents love me), and so I’m perpetually crafting sub plans which is in and of itself exhausting. So, imagine my relief when yesterday, I finally turned to the Scriptures and I found verses which spoke directly to my soul.

I’ve been yearning for a deep, intimate relationship with God since I was a baby-Christian some 9 odd years ago. I’ve always had an intellectual belief in God and have clung to a strong knowledge that God exists, but my classically trained mind was hesitant to let my heart connect. Where did this leave me? Thirsty. I was thirsty for an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connection with the God of the universe. I was thirsty for the opportunity to open my heart to Him and let Him all the way in. Finally, last night, I did something about it. A little Google searching lead me to Intervarsity’s website and a list of links for personal Bible study. Within 5 minutes I found a study on pursuing intimacy with God and I knew I had to pursue it. Last night I read Psalm 84, and below I’ll share the journal entry that I wrote in response:

For years I have complained that my faith is an intellectual one- firmly rooted in my mind, but not in my heart. Where my mind knows that God is good- knows that He loves me and has saved me, my heart wrestles with doubt and unbelief. I’m tired of it. I want intimacy with God. I want talking with Him and stepping myself in His word to become second-nature. I know now that I will need to fight for it. And so I begin.

“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” -Psalm 84:5

I pray that this is where I have set my heart: on pilgrimage towards the One who created it all. And I pray that as I spend time with Him that He will be faithful to open my heart to understand and love Him more deeply. I am grateful for the peace that this Psalm brought in the midst of the busy-ness of life, and the promise of increasing peace as my time with Him continues.

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