Meditations on a Theme

It’s that time of year again. The time when I need a break, one’s right around the corner, and yet it seems so far away. There is so much to do before June 23rd, I can’t even begin to get my brain around it. There are papers to grade, narratives to write, benchmarking to complete, portfolios to finish, and a final major writing project to publish. There is so much to do.

And so, in the grand scheme of the week what have I not done? You got it… my time with God. The time that I was so excited for the other day. The time that I was convinced would renew my relationship with Him, the time that would set me up for a great summer with the Lord. Why is this so hard??

I know in part it’s because I still harbor anger over what happened to my family this spring. I go to church and I find myself completely tuning out the sermon, and not because the sermons are boring. I go to community group and find myself grateful that we never actually got around to talking about the Bible. I am such a sinner… no more than the next person, but no less either. I wish I was one of those people for whom grief drew me closer to Him, but I’m just not and in truth, I envy those who are.

So, any advice for a girl who knows she’s got some work to do on her relationship with Jesus, but doesn’t know where to begin?

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