This song came on the radio as I was driving home today and it struck me how appropriate it is for the emotions I’ve been experiencing these days. I mean really, there’s nothing like a good country song to express the depth of human emotion, right? Also, as an aside, I love Garth Brooks.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared ‘neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d have had to miss the dance
Perhaps this is a love song… or an unrequited love song… or a love-lost song, but it speaks perfectly to the feeling when one has lost someone. I would love to be missing this pain right now, I mean really, that would be fantastic. It’s not fun to be up nights thinking about a loved one’s last moments, or thinking about how the same thing could happen to you, or grieving for the memories we had and the ones we’ll never make. It’s painful to think of the words I never spoke, of the love I never shared, of the times I took for granted. I don’t remember saying goodbye at Christmas, there was always supposed to be another time. The thing is though, I cherish my memories; I wouldn’t trade the times we had together for anything. If I had known ahead of time how things would end, I’d like to think I would have loved harder, would have really concentrated on enjoying my family time, but the truth is that I probably would have withheld my love, I probably would have avoided connections with my family, and in short, I would have missed out. Life doesn’t come with a road map. It does come with unexpected detours, mountains of joy, and valleys of grief and perhaps our job is just to dance while we’re here.